Assertiveness in Speech

 If you have ever noticed, while speaking or hearing anyone else speak, women may end their thoughts or ideas with any of the following phrases:

• “I don’t know”

• “maybe I’m wrong”

• “do you understand?”

• “if you get what I mean”

• “maybe I’m not making sense”

It can be any variation of these, but the idea is that we end our thoughts with something that makes us unsure of ourselves, and perpetuates the idea that we don’t make sense, or our ideas are not valid. I read somewhere that these speech particles come from deep rooted societal structure. For so long, the patriarchy has embedded the idea that the opinion of women is not valid, and any views that they have must be confirmed by someone else. Therefore, when we speak, we subconsciously think that we don’t make sense to others, and in a way, we are embarrassed of our own completely valid opinions. 

Even if you think what you are expressing is confusing, rather than saying something self-deprecating, try to explain further, or wait for others to ask questions and clarify parts they don’t get. 

Any thought that you may have is absolutely yours, and you must own it with all confidence. Try your best to stop saying particles of speech that suggest that your thoughts are untrue or confusing (if you want to of course), and always assert your beliefs unapologetically.  

Stay tuned for more tips on how to be more assertive in class discussions and emails!!

Happy Women’s History Month!