A SHAC Collage

12 Years Old

As a girl, there comes a time when you realize that the world around you is different. Your mom starts telling you to be more aware, to not walk too far from her, or to never stray from your friends when in a public setting. This change also comes along with men looking at you differently, some girls recognize this change in a more gradual or drastic way. My experience was eye-opening and infuriating. I was 12 years old, walking with my mother during a summer afternoon. My ignorance towards the cruelties of men came to a sudden halt when a man came behind me and grabbed me aggressively. At 12 years old I had not even had romantic feelings for a boy. This event had me sick to my stomach and stopped me from talking to anyone for two days. I felt vulnerable, violated, and disturbed at such a young age. From this day on I began to be more aware of my surroundings, such as looking behind me as I go on runs, check my backseat before I hop into my car, and never underestimate what men are capable of. 

Although the feelings of vulnerability and disgust were doormat in me for years, the abduction and killing of Sarah Everard sparked a great amount of fear and anger in me. Sarah Everard was allegedly abducted and killed by a cop, by an official who is expected to protect people from crime. This case sparked movements and protests of the brutalities that women still face today. This situation also made me feel for those who have suffered brutalities at the hands of men, such as sexual assault and harassment. 

In hopes of helping those who have experienced sexual harassment, and are experiencing the emotional drainage and trauma,  I will discuss some tips for those who have experienced harassment.

1. Talk to an adult or a trusted person.

(Although this may take time it is important to ask for help). 

2. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to someone you know, you can always give a call to RAINN, 855-897-5910

3. Consider medical options

4. Process your experience

5. Consider your legal options

6. Reconnect with yourself

The Ring

As I write this essay, shadows of ideas in my mind struggle to materialize into something tangible; I slowly twist the ring on my finger. I examine the ring; rings are a peculiar thing: too tight and they’re dangerous, too loose and they’re useless; in one case or the other, they are no longer the symbols of unity they once were. Luckily, the band that slowly turns on my finger is neither too tight nor too loose, the symbol thus intact.

This ring holds a significance both within me and without, multi-faceted like the stone it holds. A class ring, it forever connects the Class of 2021, a token of a common and shared struggle which we face even today, as we try to pull through our final year before parting ways and starting the journey to find our places in life. However, for me, the ring on my finger isn’t only a symbol of my high school experience and of unity, but also one of acceptance, one of unconditional love.

The night before I’d even laid eyes on my ring was the night that I made a life-altering decision. It was the night that I finally came out to my family. It was a truth that had been inside me for what seemed like an eternity; like a ring that was too tight, the secret was suffocating, cutting off my circulation, and with every passing day that my family wasn’t aware, the ring only grew tighter. While my friends had known for quite some time, it was my family’s ignorance of the truth that truly affected me, as they’re the ones I should rely on in my hardest and darkest times. And so, on that night, the truth poured out of me, sitting on my mother’s bed, next to the woman whom I had always loved, whom I had always looked up to, the woman I knew would accept me for everything I am. And she didn’t let me down.

The floodgates flew open. My mother  could see how the words had taken a toll on me — an emotionally exhausting experience — so she offered to tell the rest of my family, those closest to me. Like my mother, they didn’t fail me. Even my grandparents, growing up in conservative traditions, were accepting of who I am.

Thus, when they all showed up for my ring ceremony, it meant the universe to me. And when, as tradition dictates, I had to find 21 people to spin my ring and those 8 volunteered readily, my heart filled with warmth. And when I finally told my father, and he proudly spun my ring for the 21st time before pulling me in for an embrace, I knew I was completely and wholly accepted.

And the ring loosened; once more my circulation flowed freely, and I could finally breathe, finally live. It was as if my entire world had changed, as if I had been looking at it through a small circle, confined to a tunnel vision, and in a single moment, the circle had expanded. I could accept my place in the world. Not only was I able to accept and love myself, I was able to accept that others could too. I opened myself to others; the small circle of close friends I surrounded myself with expanded to include people I wasn’t previously comfortable being myself around, and my love for them has grown exponentially.

One can hardly boil down their life to one word. We are more than one word, more than a student or a family member, more than a friend or an enemy. And yet, within my ring are all of the aspects of myself: the love I hold for my family, as well as my friends, the strength of my will, the vulnerability of my heart, all linked together in this ring. A symbol of unity.

WAP: Women And Patriarchy

     If you have been keeping up with recent pop culture news, you will have heard of Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s performance at the 61st Grammys this past sunday. Cardi’s portion performance started with her single “Up”, and it merged into a controversial feature with Megan Thee Stallion, in their hit single “WAP”. 

Their performance together included a lot of sexual innuendos, which sparked a controversy about the “appropriateness” of displaying that at an award show presented to the public. Some concerns mentioned that the performance would not be appropriate for kids watching at home. Now, that might be a valid concern, but this excuse only masks the real issue at hand: misogyny. 

For generations society has tried to dictate what it means to be a strong woman, whether that be acting masculine, cross-dressing, being stubborn, or achieving crazy inspiring things. At the core of it all, these definitions try to veil the sexuality of a woman, because it is perceived as weak and an overt display of femininity.

Women are very commonly sexualized by men, objectified for their body, and even shamed for their sexual history (as Rosie mentioned previously). The essence of Cardi and Megan’s performance, and by the same hand their song, is embracing sexuality, and reclaiming it as a strength rather than a weakness. 

The real reason for outrage at their performance is the fact that they owned their body, making it individualistic and something to be proud of. This strength in sexuality essentially takes away the single tool that men use to belittle women, and that makes them angry. I personally thought that their performance was inspiring, as it took a lot of bravery to pave their own way despite knowing the criticism they would get.

 

Remember that change has to start somewhere, and this road to embracing sexuality has only just begun. It is perfectly okay to be proud of your body and your sexuality, After all: your body, your choice. And for the ridiculous parents who were concerned about their kids, they can just turn off the TV. :) 

Happy Women’s History Month!!

Promiscuous Girl

 “Promiscuous,” is a word that has been used to shame women for being sexually active for decades, among other derogatory terms and slurs. 

If a man has a high ‘body count (number of sexual partners)’ he is congratulated, but women are shamed for the same reason. A man who is not a virgin is considered experienced but a woman is considered impure, damaged, undesirable. Society idealizes the idea of a woman's sexual autonomy being out of her control and being in a man’s control. 

Where did this double standard come from in the first place? Prior to the 1960s, birth control was not a thing. This means that a woman who was sexually active had a high likelihood of coming out pregnant, so the social norms were constructed in such a way so that a woman would only have children after she was married; this means the norms constructed her to only have sex after she was married. 

Then, came the feminist movement of the 1960s. Birth control hit the markets and this gave women a new form of independence: sexual independence. Pregnancy is a BIG change, and can oftentimes be a hindrance to specific life goals due to the obligations and body changes that come with it. A woman who could avoid an unwanted pregnancy while satisfying sexual needs was a woman who felt empowered. 

But the men that benefitted from controlling women’s sexual autonomy felt thrown out of power. A sexually empowered woman is harder to catch, harder to deceive, harder to conform to toxic masculinity rules. And thus, upholding the laws of patriarchy, sexually active women were shamed for doing the exact same thing that men had been doing for centuries.

The irony in this is that women are praised for virginity because it means they are selective in whom they allow to have sex with them. But a sexually active woman is JUST AS selective. Think about it. If all women now have the choice to be with any man of their choosing, they are more likely to choose the ones that they feel the most comfortable with. It’s simple statistics! The larger the population, the smaller the sample size is by comparison. 

The most important part about being a sexually active woman is to be SAFE. Use protection, be comfortable and communicative with your partner, and enjoy yourself! This is your life, and no one can shame you for living it the way you want to. Whether that means having no sexual partners or many, YOUR BODY YOUR CHOICE!

Assertiveness in Speech

 If you have ever noticed, while speaking or hearing anyone else speak, women may end their thoughts or ideas with any of the following phrases:

• “I don’t know”

• “maybe I’m wrong”

• “do you understand?”

• “if you get what I mean”

• “maybe I’m not making sense”

It can be any variation of these, but the idea is that we end our thoughts with something that makes us unsure of ourselves, and perpetuates the idea that we don’t make sense, or our ideas are not valid. I read somewhere that these speech particles come from deep rooted societal structure. For so long, the patriarchy has embedded the idea that the opinion of women is not valid, and any views that they have must be confirmed by someone else. Therefore, when we speak, we subconsciously think that we don’t make sense to others, and in a way, we are embarrassed of our own completely valid opinions. 

Even if you think what you are expressing is confusing, rather than saying something self-deprecating, try to explain further, or wait for others to ask questions and clarify parts they don’t get. 

Any thought that you may have is absolutely yours, and you must own it with all confidence. Try your best to stop saying particles of speech that suggest that your thoughts are untrue or confusing (if you want to of course), and always assert your beliefs unapologetically.  

Stay tuned for more tips on how to be more assertive in class discussions and emails!!

Happy Women’s History Month!

Virus or Disease?

 When we talk about sexually transmitted diseases, we like to use words such as infection, disease, and virus interchangeably. But what's the difference?

A virus is the instrument that causes a disease, so HIV is the virus that causes the disease AIDS. Since they go hand in hand, that's why we use them interchangeably. 

An infection refers to the process of being infected, and an infection can either be viral (causing a disease), or bacterial. The difference between the two is that a viral infection cannot be killed by antibiotics, but a bacterial infection can be. 

The more you know! 

Remember to always stay safe. Wash your hands, know your partner's history, and most importantly, wrap it up!!

Beauty and Strength

Still celebrating National Women's History Month, a big part of sexual health awareness is the fight for equality. Sophia Salamanca, a senior in IB, is such a strong woman and we are so proud of her and her talents. She loves to sew, design clothing, and draw. Not only is she artistically talented, she is also going to Harvard University as a first-generation student,

with dreams of becoming a software engineer. 

Go Sophia!!!

by Sophia Salamanca

The Queen of Mystery

This month is Women’s History Month, so it is important to delve deep into the powerful contributions of women to society, especially in moments where they had to push against the current of their time. Agatha Christie, an English mystery novelist in the 1900’s, changed the game in murder mystery books, and left a legacy that has lived on for around a century. It is no wonder that she is known as the “Queen of Mystery”.

You may know Christie by some of her famous novels, like And Then There Were None and The ABC Murders. And, if you were a fan of Knives Out (2019), you will definitely enjoy movie adaptations of Christie’s most popular books: Murder on the Orient Express (2017), and Death on the Nile (coming this September!).

Yes! That is Michelle Pfieffer and Daisy Ridley! Penelope Cruz is not pictured here:(

Death on the Nile →

That is indeed Gal Gadot and Letitia Wright (to the back left)!

Christie is famous for her compelling detectives she used in a succession of books, Hercule Poirot and Jane Marple. Jane Marple is a particularly important milestone in the depiction of women in literature. Miss Marple is a quirky old lady, who has a sweet complexion and loves to knit, yet she has a precise mind and will of iron. 

While some think that a strong woman is obligated to have a fierce, stern, and stubborn personality, Christie’s depiction of Miss Marple shows that females can find strength in their emotion and compassion. Moreover, Miss Marple has many flaws in her career, but her personal journey in navigating her shortcomings makes her character that much more close to heart and personal.

As a girl who may feel insecure about showing my emotional side, or showing any flaws that may be taken advantage of, Miss Marple, and Agatha Christie’s legacy proves to me that I can be unapologetically me, and still pave my way through the world. 

Happy Women’s History Month!

Party Precautions

 With so many students departing on their way to college, it's important to be aware of the dangers that come along with it. Heading into the unknown may be scary for most, and the temptation of participating in parties or large gatherings will likely overcome the latter half of individuals depending on the university and the people you meet there. With these parties come safety. Across the nation, thousands of individuals are found victim every day to sexual assault. For the most part, if someone is found to be too drunk at a party where it gets to the point of no memory or body control, they may be taken advantage of and used. Many perpetrators of sexual assault are someone the victim knows.

Ways To Prevent!!

1. It is often advised to bring a trusted friend so they can watch over you in times of need.

2. A large factor is controlling the amount of alcohol induced as it can be very influential in the actions of you and others.

3. In addition, it is key to stay aware of your surroundings, making sure to not to let anyone slip anything into your drink. Never leave your drink unattended.

4. Hang around large groups of people rather than by yourself.

5. Set up code words with friends so that you can all stay connected.

6. Don't drink anything given to you by someone untrusted.

7. Don't share drinks

8. Make sure you have a ride home or walk home with a friend or roommate.

9. In the case of being a bystander, if you're a witness of this crime, do something about it, don't just stand there. 

10. Distract the perpetrator with diversions such as getting food or creating an excuse to leave the party with the victim.

Musical Empowerment

 Female empowerment and embracing how much we have advanced in a society in order to keep creating more than just a “Man’s world” is something to be very proud of. As a woman, listening to songs that express female empowerment are what keep me, as well as billions of other girls, feeling good about themselves. Here are five moments where powerful women artists have expressed sisterhood, women’s rights, and female empowerment through their music. 

1. Girl on Fire by Alicia Keys 

This song is definitely one of my throwback favorites. Alicia creates a metaphor for the “Girl” in the song who is “on fire” by revealing her characteristics as an untamed and passionate woman. By expressing the fearless traits of the girl, she expresses that a woman can do just about anything a man can do. 

2. Respect by Aretha Franklin 

Queen of soul, Aretha Franklin, creates a classic with “R-E-S-P-E-C-T”. Just as said in the title, she makes sure that everyone understands how a woman should be treated, especially when it comes to the way males treat them. 

3. Scars To Your Beautiful by Alessia Clara 

“Scars To Your Beautiful” is a wonderful message to all girls about feeling confident in the way they look and feel. This song touches upon social standards and the way a woman should have self-acceptance and feel confident in their own skin. I definitely recommend adding this one to your playlist!

4)Run the World (Girls) by Beyoncé

Many times women aren’t given credit for the foundational work they do and with this anthem, Beyoncé makes sure she notes how hard-working women are, expressing how they are the ones who “run the world”. This tune is definitely a catchy way she decides to express female empowerment and female acknowledgement. 

5) I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor 

And finally, the classic ‘I Will Survive’ by Gloria Gaynor that can be considered to be one of the ultimate female empowerment anthems. Gaynor expresses that a woman doesn’t need anyone to support her, especially a man, and that being an independent woman is what makes you stronger than ever. 

The 101 on Period Pains

 Every month some women suffer from very painful uncontrollable period pains.These pains can take a huge toll on your average day.These are some methods you can take in order to start your day period pain free. 

• Instead of taking a morning shower, soak in a warm bath instead. This bath will sooth you back as well as your abdomen pain. 

• Exercise- Exercise releases endorphins which blocks our pain receptors , ultimately reliving your pains. 

• Placing a heating pad on your abdominal , this will warm the muscles in your uterus causing increased blood flow ultimately relieving your pain. 

• Drinking warm tea such as ginger or chamomile tea. 

• Taking over the counter medications like ibuprofen, ketoprofen, and naproxen.

• Dark chocolate, It contains magnesium, this leads your muscles to relax and eases aches to reduce your cramps.

Consent!

 Don’t be afraid to say no!

What even is consent?

Sexual consent is when individuals agree in partcipating in sexual activity. It is a must under all circumstances! It is not something implied. Consent should always be communicated!

Planned parenthood puts it in simple terms : FRIES

1. It has to to be freely given: it can’t be made under pressure, through manipulation or when under the influence of drugs or alcohol

2. It is  reversible: this means that one must understand that anyone can change theur mind.

3. You must stay informed: consent can only be made if you have the full story. For example, if someone says they’ll use a condom and then they don’t, there isn’t full consent.

4. Enthusiastic: When it comes to sex, do what you WANT to do to, not the things expected of you.

5. Specific: You must understand what someone is saying yes to. Know the full picture. 

Go to planned parenthood for more information: https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/relationships/sexual-consent

Another way to put it is: it’s as simple as making a cup of tea!

Watch the video below

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oQbei5JGiT8

Practicing Inclusion: A Guide to Pronouns

  

    The term “transgender” encompasses people who live substantial portions of their lives expressing an innate sense of gender other than their sex assigned at birth. The word “transitioning” is used to describe the period of moving away from one’s assigned sex into closer alignment with gender identity.

    It is very important to address transgender people the way they prefer to be addressed as a sign of respect. Many have questions about how to send signals of inclusion to transgender people, and below are basic principles of inclusion:

★  Always use the name they chose. That name is the one they chose to refer to themselves.

★  Do not ask about the names they used before they transitioned.

★  It is nice to ask “what pronoun do you use?” when first meeting someone.

★  If you make a mistake by saying the wrong pronoun, correct yourself quickly and

try not to repeat the mistake. If you hear someone else use an incorrect pronoun,

correct them by saying “I think Melissa uses she/her/hers pronouns.”

★  If you know that someone is transgender, it is not your business to tell other

people that information.

★  Regardless of how someone identified in the past, use their current pronoun and

name. You would not tell a past story and use their past pronoun and name, you

would use their current ones.

★  Use more inclusive language such as “everyone” or “people” instead of “ladies

and gentlemen.”

★  Try not to make assumptions about the genders of people you interact with.

★  “They” is a very accepted pronoun and can include everyone.

The Blend of Sensuality and Flowers

Who was Georgia O’Keeffe?

Considered the mother of modern art during a time where men dominated the art world, Georgia O’keefe is known for her radical femisnit paintings of  sensual “flowers.” Her abstract paintings of landscapes and flowers have made her the most famous American  female painter. She is mostly known for incorporating anatomy of the female body into her paintings. Her flowers have become the epitome of a battle field for opposing interpretations. 

During the 1970s, feminists used her art as a way to demonstrate and urge to empower women and their bodies in the art world. O’Keeffe’s floers were metaphorical representations of the real female body-not the one traditionally painted by men. 

Here are some of my favortie paintings:

Red Canna, 1924

Georgia O’Keeffe, Jimson  Weed/White Flower No. 1 (1932)

Gray Line with Black, Blue and Yellow, 1923

Preventing STDs: A checklist

A sexually transmitted disease, also known as an STD, is transmitted from one human to another through direct physical touch – such as heavy petting – and through sexual activity. It can be caused by bacteria, viruses, or parasites. It is crucial to stay informed about these kinds of diseases in order to protect yourself. Here are a few ways to prevent getting an STD.

1. Abstinence - Not having sex is the most effective way of preventing infection.

2. Minimize the number of sex partners - If you have more than one sex partner, it is imperative that you and your partners be checked and that you share the test results with each other. 

3. Usage of condoms - The correct and consistent use of male latex condoms is extremely successful in reducing the transmission of STDs.

4. Vaccines - Vaccines are effective, reliable and are recommended for the prevention of hepatitis B and HPV.

1. Mutual Monogamy - One of the most effective ways to prevent STDs is to be in a long-term, mutually monogamous relationship with an uninfected partner.